We’ve subtly updated the quiz from last year to ensure the cultural reference points remain accessible for a 2009 audience (that Menswear bit will be okay for a few years though, right?). However, to ensure the quiz remains valid and robust in relation to last year’s benchmark – and for no other reason – we have kept the questions almost exactly the same as last year.
Of course, if you didn’t take the quiz last year, please dive in and pretend this quiz is brand new! Good luck!
1. The one thing that makes a festival perfect for you is:
a) Being able to fix your make-up and/or hair under PROPER LIGHTS every day
b) A late night Camera Obscura sing-along with ukeleles, guitars and tins of tomatoes for drums
c) Meeting all the local characters who live near to the festival site and listening to them reminisce about when “it were all fields round here”, even though it still is
d) Getting away from it all at the end of the day, in time for late-night Big Brother
2. Your perfect “festival look” is:
a) Immaculate hair and perfectly pressed clothes, you’ve got a style reputation to maintain
b) A floppy hat, all-weather/terrain shoes and a guitar strapped across your back; an acoustic appearance on the grassy knoll could beckon at any time
c) Clean clothes and smelling fresh, even if your ‘The School’ t-shirt smells of mothballs after hanging in the antique wardrobe
d) Travelling light, no sleeping bags to weigh you down!
3. Your idea of creature comforts for a festival is:
a) A late-opening bar and a room big enough to party in (and rip Yellow Pages in half)
b) An inflatable mattress and a portable stove – the caff is cheap as chips but you’re enjoying your reputation as an outdoorsy expert
c) Finding quaint little pubs nearby where you can sink a pint in peace until your next favourite band comes on
d) Someone there to welcome you home at the end of the day, and to tell you what you missed in Coronation Street
4. Duglas T. Stewart of BMX Bandits tells you he’s got nowhere to stay for the night and begs your help. Do you:
a) Say “We’ve got a family room and you’re part of the family, Duglas!”, as long as he promises to bring booze
b) Invite him to share your abode as long as he agrees to play Teenage Fanclub covers in the sing-along
c) Blush at the thought of how you’re going to explain away a strange man in your room to the landlady, when you’ve already got a partner in tow
d) Call home and tell them to make up an extra bed, you’ve got an indie legend coming home
5. It’s 1.00am on Saturday, you’re merry on indiepop and cider (but mainly cider) and you need your bed – FAST! Do you:
a) Fumble for that cab number in your bag, you know you had it somewhere? You really want to crash in someone’s tent but can’t bear the thought of kinky hair in the morning
b) Magically produce an X Files-style torchlight from your rucksack and start looking for that trail of stones you left somewhere, as well as the stash of booze you hid in a bush for late-night sing-alongs
c) Stumble towards the exit with a map in one hand, and mobile phone in another, trying to sober up so you don’t make too much noise when you get in
d) Phone home and leave a tipsy message on the answerphone for someone to come and get you
6. You decide to fix yourself a snack. Do you:
a) Reach for the free shortbread biscuits next to the complimentary tea and tiny kettle
b) Place a can of beans over a cigarette lighter and wait for half an hour
c) Run downstairs and ask nicely if they can rustle up some cheese on toast
d) Raid the fridge and hope someone hasn’t snaffled all your vegetarian sausages.
7. When you wake up in the morning, you write down all your dreams. Were you:
a) Wandering down an endless nondescript corridor knocking on infinite identical doors looking for a party that sounds close by, but never gets any nearer
b) Running free in the wildness under the stars to the soundtrack of owl twoots and soft metal acoustica
c) Transported back to the 1950s drinking multiple cups of tea and eating Digestive biscuits as a Gramaphone plays Cliff Richard tunes
d) Back at school, watching that time when you tripped and fell during the school play over and over again.
8. You feel the need for some entertainment. Do you:
a) Stick on the cable TV and feel guilty watching Hollyoaks, before considering paying for wi-fi
b) Fashion a rudimentary ukulele from some branches and stray twine and lead a Jonathan Richman singalong
c) Challenge a fellow guest to a game of chess or draughts
d) Browse through your entire CD and DVD collection or pick a book from your bookshelf
9. The Indietracks genie appears and grants you a wish. Do you wish:
a) That the party next door will stop playing “French Navy” on repeat and go to bed
b) That the stray cow that’s appeared two feet from where you’re sleeping will get distracted and leave
c) That the random guest you’re chatting to will stop trying to get you to explain what an indiepop festival is. “It’s a kinda like The Beatles, okay?”
d) That you were coming back for the next day of the festival and joining the overnight fun!
10. You meet someone special at the festival. What are you most worried about when they get back to your accommodation?
a) That the romance will fade when they find an aspiring Scandinavian indiepop band sleeping on the pull-out sofa
b) That the appeal of sitting out under the stars will drop sharply if it starts to rain
c) That there was actually a curfew, and the landlady is up waiting for you with a stern look on her face
d) That they don’t stumble across the framed photos from your Britpop phase, when you tried to look like Jonny from Menswear
Wondering how you got on? In true Cosmo style it should be fairly flippin’ obvious but, if you need your scores, here they are.
Mostly As: Yup, you’re a Travelodger alright. You know the campsite has showers, but it’s just not the same, right? You need to be able to sit down properly to fix your hair and, anyway, you quite fancy late night drinking shenanigans in a family room with no wet grass to bother you. Rooms in Nottingham, Derby and Alfreton are getting booked up quickly, so visit the Travelodge website soon! www.travelodge.co.uk
Mostly Bs: Hello campers! For you, festivals just aren’t the same unless you’ve got a tin o’ beans on the go, and a campsite sing-along to look forward to. You might want to check out the wonderful Golden Valley Caravan Park campsite.
Mostly Cs: You consider yourself a discerning festival-goer, fancying the unique, ramshackle charm of a nearby Bed and Breakfast. You like nothing more than meeting the locals and sampling real ale in nearby pubs, and so Moss Cottage in Ripley might be ideal for you.
Mostly Ds: ‘Cos you’re a daaaaaay-tripper, etc etc. You’ve got a day ticket and you’re not afraid to use it. You’re there for a while, but you’re looking forward to curling up in your own bed while everyone else is remembering that vital bit of kit they left at home. Erm, there’s not really a website I can point you to, but it’s probably wise to check the festival site location on the Indietracks website before you sort out travel arrangements.